Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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