I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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