$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize