I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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