I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
