Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
