***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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