I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
