You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
