his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
