i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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