he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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