She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
