Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
