i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize