I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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