never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It was confusing and full of hummus
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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