They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
