I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
how drunk are you?
Several
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
