So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
why is half of my head shaved?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
