so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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