she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
two words: eviction party
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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