he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize