her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
