She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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