East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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