I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
