how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
