do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
