im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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