A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
