i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
