i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
