I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
