I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Success! We fucked roommates!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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