I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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