i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
