i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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