my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
