i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
