As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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