**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
How external is "for external use only"?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
