Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
