I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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