He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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