I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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