awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
