Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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