it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm at about main and main street
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
