we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
