You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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