you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
