sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
