So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
