The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
