Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize