Buhtt sex?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
