he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
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