but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
