you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
where are you?
Hypothermia
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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